auld lang syne

It doesn’t really feel like New Year’s today.  Maybe because Jason and I crashed last night around 10pm, heard the ruckus outside at midnight, and woke just enough to mumble “happy new year, love” before drifting back to sleep.  Maybe because I’ve lost all sense of what day it is with the holidays and the traveling and the lack of work or preschool or any rhythm at all.  But we had some friends over for brunch this morning (see, we can be festive!  –just not at midnight) and someone mentioned New Year’s resolutions and I thought “Hey!  That’s right, it’s New Year’s…”

I know some folks scoff at New Year’s resolutions, at the arbitrariness of it.  But I’ve always liked the idea.  The chance to start fresh, with renewed purpose, renewed hope.  Resolving to become more of the person you want to be, realigning your trajectory so that you are closer to the mark… that’s always a good thing, right?    So with Jason off playing a round of disc golf and the boys tucked in for nap time, I’ve got some space to think a little on what I’d like my resolutions to be for 2013.

I saw this quote on Facebook posted by a friend of a friend of a friend or some such a couple weeks ago.  I have a weakness for inspirational quotes – don’t judge.  And for some reason, this one keeps floating back to the surface of my mind.

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‎”Right before you die, you’ll realize this whole life was about loving people. And you watched too much television.”  –Donald Miller

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It reminds me of another quote from a book I read a few years ago, The Secret Life of Bees.  Last quote, I promise…

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And when you get down to it, Lily, that’s the only purpose grand enough for a human life. Not just to love-but to persist in love.’  –Sue Monk Kidd

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I’m thinking that I’d like to have a theme for the year, rather than a resolution, per se.  I’m not sure how well this will work but I like the theme of persisting.  Persisting in love and persisting in life-giving practices.   I don’t struggle with watching too much television, but I can certainly fill in the blank with a multitude of other things.  Reading, sewing, Pinterest perusing, reading, organizing, espresso-making, espresso-drinking, emailing, reading, reading.   None of these things are bad.  Far from it.  But they are the things that can keep me focused on myself instead of others, if I allow them to.

I like the idea of persistence because when you think about it, it can be pretty easy, in one respect, to love “others.”   To love my nearby neighbors by bringing a meal, lending a listening ear, sending a note.  But to persist in loving my husband, my parents, my siblings, my children, my dearest friends, and my church community when the shine has worn off and they’ve seen the worst in me; to not throw in the towel and move on to someone or something else because it’s uncomfortable to be seen in such a way and it’s hard to keep on keeping on, to persist in loving and in giving myself fully to them does seem a mighty grand purpose.

Jason and I used to observe the Sabbath with regularity.  We’d turn our clocks around, turn our computer off, light a candle in the evening to ring it in, and light one to ring it out.   We’d check in with one another, resolve any lingering issues between us, bless one another, and so on.  It was a good practice, good for us as individuals and good for our relationship with one another.  It added a rhythm to our week and regardless of how hectic or overwhelming things got during the week, we knew that Sunday was coming and we’d have that day of rest.   We’ve let it fall by the wayside since having the boys.  We still observe it, but we’ve had a harder time with it, feeling too exhausted to do much beyond a quick check-in and an afternoon nap.    And that was ok for a time.  But it feels like we’ve turned a corner, even in just the last two weeks.  Things are feeling… dare I say it?  Easier with the boys lately.   Just a little bit.  They are playing more independently lately, playing with each other more, needing us just a tad less.  It’s weird and awesome and slightly sad all at once.   Whatever it is, it makes me feel like we’ve got the energy and the space to re-work the Sabbath more fully into our weekly rhythm.    Not only will it be a life-giving practice for me to persist in but it will give me the space to consider how I’ve been persisting in love throughout the week as well.    Is this too broad?    It might be.  We’ll see but there it is – my theme, my resolution for the year.  Persistence.

I’ve always liked the traditional New Year’s song Auld Lang Syne, especially this version that came out a few years ago, but I’ve never really known what it meant.  Does anybody?  Turns out it means “old long since” or, more colloquially, “for old time’s sake.”    Most versions of the song just include the first verse and the chorus but the other verses are good as well.

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne ?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine ;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.

We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.

I like the song even more now.  I like the idea of sitting around the breakfast table for many New Year’s breakfasts to come, looking ahead at the year before us, reminiscing about the year past, remembering auld lang syne.  Happy New Year!

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And now for a look back over the last week.  We traveled to Lodi for the holiday to see my folks and my sister’s family.  We were going to stay with my parents but my mom got really sick just before our arrival so we stayed at my sister’s house instead.  It was a PACKED house.  1500 square feet and we had up to 17 people sleeping there at one point, as other family rolled into town throughout the week.   It was definitely a little crowded at times and meals were chaotic but it worked.  We all squeezed in and made room for each other.  The boys, in particular, thought it was a hoot.

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And that’s all, folks.  Many happy returns of the day.